And She Sleeps!

I have had a constant struggle over the last four months and that is, not having my husband around on weekend nights since he works third shift. Eric started working third shift when Alora was just a year old, which wasn't so bad. Though now she is almost a year and a half old and is very attached to her daddy. Eric being gone those nights, over the last couple of weeks has been the most difficult. I haven't been able to sleep well, it takes Alora hours to fall asleep, and well the list could go on and on. But this past week, each night except for one Eric and I both put Alora to sleep. Our little routine went something like this; take a bath, put on pj's, brush teeth, read a book, sing a song, say our prayers, then get in the bed. Alora seemed to really love us both being there. Well I didn't know it would affect her so much until last night. Eric's first night of working this week and time for bed. I did the normal routine with Alora, but something was wrong, Alora DID NOT want to go to bed. Instead she insisted on crying until she made herself get sick. After about every ten minutes of her crying I would go into her room, comfort her, then try to put her to sleep. Ten o'clock was rolling around and still no sleeping baby. Eric then called at ten and he could hear Alora crying and by this time I was crying just to hear his voice. HE asked to talk to her and at first I was a little reluctant because I just wanted to talk to him, but I preceeded to give her the phone. Daddy said in his serious voice, "Alora, I love you. I miss you and I wish I was there but it is time for bed. Now you listen to your mother and you lay down and go to sleep." I was thinking to myself, "Aww, that was sweet but she ain't listening." Well, to my surprise, I helped lay her down and she went fast to sleep. Praise God! Well, Eric and I planned that today Alora would have more daddy time, just her and daddy, so they played soccer (and yes, Alora is a great soccer player, kicks the ball while she runs behind it), hide and seek (which is her favorite game) and then we had dinner. We also made a plan that I would have Alora ready to go to bed by 8:00 pm and daddy would call and give her the same speech. Well 8:00 rolled around and she was beginning to fuss because she didn't want to go to sleep. Eric called and to my surprise again she layed down and went to sleep. I was stunned. She misses her daddy so much when he's not here. I am amazed at how much this simple incident has made me fall more in love with my husband. He is such a godly man and love him even more knowing that my daughter thinks he is the best daddy in the world. Thank you Lord for giving Eric and I wisdom as we try to raise this little precious girl to be a godly woman.

So I was watching Good Morning America this morning when an interview of The Dixie Chicks aired. They were talking about marriage, children, life, and music, a typical interview. But then something caught my ear, one of the girls was talking about her body after giving birth. She said that she was proud of the way her body looked now, she wasn't the most fit she had ever been and that nothing ever went back to thier original place but that she was proud to have the battle scars of motherhood. It got me thinking about how a lot of times I look at my body and I think how ugly my stretch marks are or how I'll never have perky boobs again in my life. And I ask myself, " Would I do it all over again for the chance to hold Alora Grace in my arms as my daughter," and I confess, I would do every moment again.

So I want to apologize for the lack of commitement to posting. Life can sometimes be so hectic and we tend to put less significant things in the forefront of our minds, like blogging. But I will from this day make a concerted effort to blog on a more regular basis. Instead of just once a month.

So I just want to take a moment and Praise the Lord for the amazing friends that He has placed in mine and Eric's life. We are so blessed to have a family of brothers and sisters in Christ that we can be real with. Since moving back to Eric's home-town we have met some amazing people. We are building friendships that I have prayed for for so long. So tonight with the short amount of time I have I want to Praise you Lord and testify of just how amazing and sovereign You are. Thank You for guiding our every step and leading us to Covenant.

I once had a convesation with a friend about marriage. It all started when a friend of his died leaving his wife all alone. My friend talked about how much his friend loved his wife and how much she loved him. He went on detailing the way that the couple adored one another and how it seemed each time they saw each other it was if they had been away from each for so long and were elated to finally be in each others arms. I remember listening to my friend and thinking to myself, yeah I know how they feel because that's how I feel about Eric. But then the conversation took a rather strange turn. He looked at me and said, "I love my wife and you love Eric but not the way they loved each other." What, is he serious? I was dumbfounded. I thought to myself, "What a rude thing to say, I mean what right does he have to judge me on how much I love Eric. He doesn't know my heart, my deepest emotions for the most important person to me." That was over a year ago and I sit here tonight thinking about that conversation. Asking myself if what he said was taken out of context. And I came to the conclusion, that yes, yes it was. I realized that I was offended because somehow he didn't see just how much I care, love and adore my husband. But why didn't he see this?

It has been almost three years since I took Eric as my husband, a day I will never forget. That day changed me, it changed who I had always been and who I would be in the future. From that day on I would not be Amy Foster but now Amy Ashley and along with the name came responsibility and commitment. I loved when somebody asked me my name, when I got my new license and especially waking up next to Eric each and every morning. I loved cooking dinner for Eric and planning dates with him. It's that first year that everyone says is the hardest but for me it was wonderful. Of course, there were moments that I had to take a step back and realize it wasn't just me anymore, I was part of a team. But the years following have been the struggles, where more tears have been shed than in all of my life. And as I write this now with tears swelling in my eyes I am reminded that my husband, the man I love so deeply that I don't know how to express it because when I try it hurts so deeply down within me, is a gift more precious than all the money and riches in this world. He is my best-friend, my confidant, my lover, my hero, my prayer warrior, my leader, my shoulder to cry on, he is an example of what a husband should be and I am dumb-founded why out of all the women in the world I am so blessed to be his. I may not be the best at showing outwardly, with googily eyes, how much I love Eric Mitchell Ashley, oh but the love I have for my man of God shakes me down to my very core.

Please pray for me as I seek to show Eric this love I have for him. I want the world but more importantly Eric to know that I love him more than anyone in the world. May my friend one day see the same exchange of love for one another between Eric and I that he saw in his friends.

Wednesday Eric and I decided that we were going to declare Wednesday as the weekly clean the house day(as if I don't do that every other day). No, really, we decided we were going to clean out all the clutter, dust, and allergens that has infiltrated our house. My allergies have been so bad that I have not been able to smell or taste ANYTHING for the last week. We started with our bedroom. First, we took down the curtains, drapes, blinds, spare blankets and pillows from under the bed, anything and everything that could collect dust that couldn't be dusted. Then, we thoroughly vaccuumed, dusted and kicked the dog out the room. And at last I woke up this morning actually being able to breathe through my nose. It was the best night of sleep I have had in a long while. Praise GOD!! We also did the same to the rest of the house, what a chore. That's not to say my allergies are gone, oh no, but they are better.

So as you might have read on Eric's blog, I'm PREGNANT. Yeah, Praise GOD! Please pray that everything will go great and that if it's the Lord's will I won't have another miscarriage, those things are tough. Also pray for me now, I have horrible morning sickness. I am not one who likes to throw-up but with this pregnancy I'm sick every morning. Thanks guys for all your prayers.

So Eric started working third shift last week and I have to admit it hasn't been that bad. Well, until tonight. I found myself being jumpy at the slightest sound, for instance I heard a scratching noise outdoors so I franticly searched out the doors and windows trying to see if anyone was breaking in, but alas I found a tiny beetle climbing and buzzing around one of the kitchen windows. I laugh now! Then I was watching a t.v. show on divorced families and step-parents when I got up to go into the kitchen to get something to drink when there in the kitchen floor was a huge spider. When I say huge, I mean a spider about the size of a quarter, that's pretty big. Well, now I'm here typing away at this post and thinking about how I think it's funny how we can sike ourselves up to believe just about anything. We can imagine bad things happening to ourselves and the people we love the most. But I also think that sometimes Satan knows just how to attack us, how to make us falture. I can remember so many times in my past being scared of places I was or people I was with and thinking to myself why can't I just run away. I remember one time in particular when I awoke in the middle of the night having a nightmare that I was being killed along with my family. The thought scared me so bad I couldn't go to sleep. That's when I took my Bible and began reading, I began praying and then I did the funniest thing, I began telling Satan and his demons to leave me alone that I belonged to Christ and nothing could hurt me not even death. Then I started spitting on my bedroom floor and telling Satan that I wasn't scared of him and that he was nothing. Within about fifteen minutes I was fast asleep. I remember the peace and joy I had the rest of the night and the next morning I woke up. God is always my peace. Whenever I'm scared or afraid, stressed out, or excited I am always able to go to God and find comfort , peace and joy from my heavenly Father. So I think I'll go and do just that, spend sometime with my DAD. Goodnight!

Well, as I'm sure you have all read Eric and I had a wonderful time in VA. Going home is something that I always love. Seeing how much my two brothers and sisters have grown and changed is always a little hard. It reminds me that life is so short and we are never promised tomorrow. The change that I see in all four of them is so hard to grasp. When I moved to SC I left a 15 year old, a 14 year old, a 10 year old and a 8 year old, but now they are all five years older. My youngest sister now wears make-up and shaves her legs and my older sister is an amazing hair stylist and a awesome waitress at Olive Garden, my oldest brother is in love, and my youngest brother is an actor, an aspiring Architect, so handsome, and a genius(OK, not quite). Realizing and seeing where and how God has directed each of their lives is somewhat beyond understanding. I sit in amazement at how God is so big, majestic, almighty, powerful, all knowing and yet in all his glory he takes the small moments in each day to reveal Himself to his children.
Seeing how much my family has changed and realizing again just how precious life is was not all I was reminded of this past week. I was reminded again that doing what God has called us to do is not always easy. This past week there was an incident were I kept noticing this particular sin in one of my family members life. I confronted the person and instead of confessing this person began to get upset at me and make excuses. That wasn't the end of it. For the rest of the week this person scrutinzed everything I said as though trying to point out my sin, but not for the upbuilding of me but just to tear me down. The fact is I wish more people would be willing to point out sin in my life, I pray that through them pointing out sin that I can confess it to God, ask forgiveness and begin living even more right for God. But I see that we as Christians are always so scared of what our brothers and sisters in Christ might say about us. I pray that we would all put down our sin of pride and pick-up the gift humblesness and I pray that may we be willing to share our burdens with one another. I also pray that we all may be bold enough to point out sin in our brothers and sisters life so that the body of Christ may continue to grow.

Today I amazed how even the smallest thing can make life so big. Alora giggled today at me for making a silly face and it seemed as if it were the first time she giggled. Sometimes it seems the mundane things like cleaning dishes, cleaning the toilet, making breakfast, lunch and dinner all run together. But at the end of the day when I think upon the things I did during the day I realize that none, absolutely none, of it was in vain. Was I fulfilling my role as a wife, my role as a mom, absolutely. So today I encourage everyone to look at the things that they have done today and ask yourself, was what I did glorifying to my Savior, did I fulfill the God given task the Lord has set before me? Whether it be school, working in a coffee shop, writing a paper, mowing the lawn, whatever, did I do all of it to bring glory and honor to Christ. Because when we get down to it, we probably can say no to at least a couple of things.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31

This is my blog. I don't have anything to write now but I need to post this in order to view my blog. I will return tomorrow when I am well rested and my brain is not sleep deprived. Good Night and Good Luck!