Thursday, April 27, 2006

I once had a convesation with a friend about marriage. It all started when a friend of his died leaving his wife all alone. My friend talked about how much his friend loved his wife and how much she loved him. He went on detailing the way that the couple adored one another and how it seemed each time they saw each other it was if they had been away from each for so long and were elated to finally be in each others arms. I remember listening to my friend and thinking to myself, yeah I know how they feel because that's how I feel about Eric. But then the conversation took a rather strange turn. He looked at me and said, "I love my wife and you love Eric but not the way they loved each other." What, is he serious? I was dumbfounded. I thought to myself, "What a rude thing to say, I mean what right does he have to judge me on how much I love Eric. He doesn't know my heart, my deepest emotions for the most important person to me." That was over a year ago and I sit here tonight thinking about that conversation. Asking myself if what he said was taken out of context. And I came to the conclusion, that yes, yes it was. I realized that I was offended because somehow he didn't see just how much I care, love and adore my husband. But why didn't he see this?

It has been almost three years since I took Eric as my husband, a day I will never forget. That day changed me, it changed who I had always been and who I would be in the future. From that day on I would not be Amy Foster but now Amy Ashley and along with the name came responsibility and commitment. I loved when somebody asked me my name, when I got my new license and especially waking up next to Eric each and every morning. I loved cooking dinner for Eric and planning dates with him. It's that first year that everyone says is the hardest but for me it was wonderful. Of course, there were moments that I had to take a step back and realize it wasn't just me anymore, I was part of a team. But the years following have been the struggles, where more tears have been shed than in all of my life. And as I write this now with tears swelling in my eyes I am reminded that my husband, the man I love so deeply that I don't know how to express it because when I try it hurts so deeply down within me, is a gift more precious than all the money and riches in this world. He is my best-friend, my confidant, my lover, my hero, my prayer warrior, my leader, my shoulder to cry on, he is an example of what a husband should be and I am dumb-founded why out of all the women in the world I am so blessed to be his. I may not be the best at showing outwardly, with googily eyes, how much I love Eric Mitchell Ashley, oh but the love I have for my man of God shakes me down to my very core.

Please pray for me as I seek to show Eric this love I have for him. I want the world but more importantly Eric to know that I love him more than anyone in the world. May my friend one day see the same exchange of love for one another between Eric and I that he saw in his friends.

3 comments:

LiuMai said...

I've been there from the beginning when you were just a new girl that he told me things about. I've seen it all...heard most of it...and know how much you love him. And how much he loves you. You guys are blessed, and I know that he considers himself the MOST blessed one that someone as great and godly as you took him as husband. But more than that, I know he thanks our Father for His Sovereign matchmaking and His grace that keeps you two in love and together. I can't wait to get back up there and see you two again...it's going to be awesome.

Amy said...

Cecil, oh how I miss you. Thank you so much for those encouraging words. I love you so much and can't wait for you to be home. And you are right about being thankful that God has sovereign matchmaking skills, that's evident in your life too. Praise God!

Jon said...

That was a beautiful post Amy and I will be praying for you to show your love. Your post as gotten me excited about maybe one day getting married please pray for me too that one day I can also have a relationship like you and Eric share and that I can be a good Godly husband.

Thanks for the post!